Yesterday, our kids had the day off from school, and it threw me off my writing schedule. The old me would have panicked, overwhelmed by the sudden change, telling my kids I had too much to do for everyone else and that I couldn’t keep up with my own goals. As hard as it is to admit, that was the old version of myself—the one who didn’t know how to regulate emotions or manage time effectively.
But today, the new me approached the disruption differently. I’ve learned to allow myself to be off schedule, knowing that I will still get things done later in the week. It’s taken years of self-discovery to get here, especially when I realized that consistency was a struggle for me. Over the last two years, I’ve committed to a steady routine, even if it feels boring at times. This structure has become my foundation. It’s given me a way to reset when life throws me off track.
The old me thrived on spontaneity, often feeling out of control when things didn’t go as planned. But now I’ve learned to pivot. I control what I can and let go of what I can’t, trusting that I’ve got this.
Yesterday, instead of writing, I spent the morning cooking breakfast for the kids. I don’t always love cooking, but someone has to do it. The kids were ecstatic for a hot breakfast and it made me feel good that I could do that for them. Gratitude is key when you’re doing something outside of your comfort zone. It shifts the energy, turning a simple task into something meaningful.
In my latest YouTube video, I shared my son Sullivan’s birth story. He arrived four weeks early, weighing just 4 lbs 4 oz, and was delivered via C-section. None of it was in the plan. Two months later, my husband’s grandmother passed away after meeting him, keeping her promise that she wouldn’t leave this earth until she held our firstborn. Life has a way of surprising us like that, and back then, I didn’t understand any of it.
Then, four months after becoming a new mom, my dad had a brain aneurysm. It felt like my entire world shifted in a matter of months. I went from focusing on my career to suddenly becoming a stay-at-home mom and caretaker for my dad. None of it was part of my plan.
Looking back, I can see how I was learning, even when I didn’t recognize it. I can give myself grace now, knowing that I was navigating new territory. Life threw me challenges I wasn’t prepared for, but each one brought lessons. I felt like I was losing myself, but in reality, I was being shaped into the person I am today.
At the time, I couldn’t see it. I was too busy comparing myself to my friends, feeling left behind as they built their careers while I hit pause on mine. I questioned whether I was enough, but now I know—I was more than enough. I just couldn’t see it then.
If I could go back and talk to my 26-year-old self, I’d tell her to embrace the change. Find the beauty in the chaos because it doesn’t last forever. I am so grateful now that I got to spend those precious moments at home with my firstborn and share my parents’ later years with them.
Journal Prompts for Reflection:
- Think of a time when life didn’t go as planned. How did you respond, and what did you learn from that experience?
- Reflect on a moment when you felt like you were falling behind. How can you shift your perspective to see it as a period of growth?
- What aspects of your current routine give you stability and peace? How can you build on those to help you when life throws you off track?
- In what areas of your life do you struggle to feel “enough”? How might you embrace the idea that you are enough just as you are?
- What unexpected events have shaped your life in meaningful ways, even if they didn’t feel like it at the time?
