One of the first things I do each morning is read my Facebook memories. It helps me start my day with reflection. Years ago, when I posted those statuses, I didn’t realize I was journaling my life in real-time. I used to cringe at those memories, as I barely recognized the person I once was. But over the last two years, I’ve learned to embrace every version of myself: who I was, who I am now, and who I am becoming.
Yesterday, my memory read, “Who needs an alarm clock when you have a baby? I haven’t used one since he was born!” Life was preparing me for the life I now love. To this day, I still don’t use an alarm clock.
I remember trying to resist my new schedule as a mom, wishing I could still sleep in. Over time, as the kids learned to sleep a bit longer, I found myself spending hours scrolling on my phone in the morning. While my mom or Sully helped with the kids, I was numbing myself by scrolling and shopping—avoiding life situations I didn’t want to face. This led me to recognize my own habits as an addiction that prevented me from being fully present.
In March 2022, Sully made a pivotal choice to quit drinking, opening his eyes to our patterns and setting his own transformation in motion. His journey inspired me to face my own habits, and we began this transformation together.
For the past two years, I’ve stopped lying in bed to scroll when I wake up. Now, my morning begins with quiet reflection, followed by gratitude, stillness in the early morning dark, reading, moving my body, and having coffee with my life partner. By taking care of myself before everyone else wakes up, I keep my cup full so I can hold space for others. I’ve learned that I can’t give from an empty cup as I used to.
This family trip to Mexico feels like a gift we prepared for long ago when we first signed up for the resort membership. It’s been five years since we were last here as a family, and we’ve all changed so much. Our kids are now teenagers, and Sully and I are in our 40s. Our interests are different from five years ago. It’s funny how we find it challenging to just relax and be catered to. I feel drawn to help families with little kids on the resort, because it wasn’t long ago we were in the same boat, juggling kids and cocktails. It feels amazing to not day drink and go to bed early each night.
We feel rested and deeply grateful for this time away. But what we’ve discovered is that the life we’ve built at home is everything we ever dreamed of. We’re actually looking forward to going back, ready to dive into wrestling season—the season where we’re all buried in the hard work that shapes us.
Journal Prompt for Reflection:
Think about the different versions of yourself over the years. Reflect on a time when you recognized habits or behaviors that were holding you back from being fully present and alive. What steps did you take to initiate change, and how have those changes shaped who you are today? How do you embrace your past selves while continuing to grow? Write about the journey of your personal transformation and the life you’re building.
