October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, a time when we pause to honor and remember the many families who have experienced the heartbreak of losing a child during pregnancy or shortly after birth. This is a topic close to my heart, as I’ve walked this difficult path more than once. Twenty years ago, I faced an ectopic pregnancy. At the time, I didn’t fully understand what was happening to my body. I felt lost, confused, and ashamed. I wasn’t married, and that added layers of guilt to my grief. The silence surrounding pregnancy loss left me feeling isolated, like I couldn’t talk about it, let alone ask for support.
Now, two decades later, I want to break that silence. In a recent YouTube video, I opened up about this experience in greater depth, hoping that by sharing my story, others may find comfort in knowing they are not alone. Loss is complex, and the emotions it stirs often feel like weeds overtaking a once-beautiful garden. But even amidst the weeds, flowers can bloom again. This is why I’m sharing my story — not just to reflect on the pain, but to honor the resilience it has sparked within me and others.
Click below for the full Youtube video.
Later this month, I’ll share more about my second loss, a pregnancy at 17 weeks. For now, though, I want to create space for healing, connection, and reflection.
Tying It Back to the Garden
Gardening has taught me so much about life’s cycles — growth, blooming, withering, and returning to the earth. Each loss I’ve experienced feels like a season in the garden. Some moments have been like late autumn, where everything falls apart, and others have been like spring, where hope buds once more.
I invite you to reflect on your own journey of growth. Whether you’ve experienced loss or know someone who has, consider planting something in memory of those little lives that bloomed too briefly. A flower, a tree, or even a simple herb in your kitchen window. Nurturing life, even in small ways, can be a powerful reminder that while some seasons end too soon, there is always room for new beginnings.
Journal Prompt for Reflection
Journaling can be a healing way to process loss and cultivate hope. If you feel ready, I encourage you to sit with these questions:
- What has your grief taught you about growth and resilience?
- In what ways have you been able to find beauty, even in seasons of loss?
- If you could plant something in honor of a lost life, what would it be and why?
Let these prompts guide your thoughts, whether you’re journaling in a notebook, on your phone, or just reflecting quietly to yourself. Sharing our stories, whether with others or with ourselves, can bring clarity, peace, and even healing.
Let’s continue to bloom together, even through the hardest seasons.
